So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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