Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
