i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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