This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
