i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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