Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
last night I used snow as a chaser
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
