he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
