i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
