do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
