u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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