It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
