i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
