Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
