whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Boobs speak an international language.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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