Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
