Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
