now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
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he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
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I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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