i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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