Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
