Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
this just has baby written all over it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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