dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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