you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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