Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
