Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can you bring me the toilet please
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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