Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
