I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
