Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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