five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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