I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
