just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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