I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
