Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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