420 ftw
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
