So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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