PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
