I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
