The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
