Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The beers last night were like the tears from god
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
