If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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