Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
At least life still wants to fuck me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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