i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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