You work out of a Hotel?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
