this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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