Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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