How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
