If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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