just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
