Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
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He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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