Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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