Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
