Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
