I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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