btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
