just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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