At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Found your dick twin last night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My dick has a subreddit
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
