I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
