Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
