Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
nutella sex= disaster
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
