if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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