I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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