i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
