hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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