She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
