Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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